New Lunar new Year, New Me

Full disclosure: this is my first ever blog post that isn’t a Supernatural photo collage reblog from my Tumblr account circa 2009.

I always thought “blogging” was either too salesy or too personal. You’re either trying to get someone to buy something with an affiliate link, or you’re writing in your online diary. Both are terrifying if you’re more of an internet lurker like me. But I made a promise to myself this year to do things that scare me. To push past the very “safe” bubble I’ve created for myself.

2025 was a clusterfuck.

It started out not-great and went steadily downhill. A mix of work stuff, personal stuff, and money stuff ganged up to completely tank my mental health. I found myself in a dark place I hadn’t been to in a really long time. I sat in my own head and watched every good habit, every hard-won win, collapse and felt powerless to stop it.

By December, I completely checked out of anything that wasn’t spending time with supportive friends and family and sitting on my couch trying to finish the entirety of Supernatural (hey, full circle moment!) before it left Netflix.

I was feeling sorry for myself. And if I’m being honest I still am. I was waiting for the “new year, new me” mentality to kick in and rewire my brain into working like it used to.

Spoiler alert? That never happened.

But something else did. I started to feel… not “normal,” exactly. Just different.

Somewhere in all that bullshittery, something did end up changing.

I’ve always played it safe. My whole life, people have told me, kindly and unkindly, that I have potential I don’t use. And unfortunately… they’re right. I’ve always been a keep-your-head-down person. Don’t take up too much space. Don’t be too loud. I’m not more talented or special than anyone else, so why should I draw attention?

Riot Girl is the first thing I’ve created in a long time that felt fully like me. I hate the word “authentic”, it’s been buzzworded to death, but that’s what it is. The voice, the style, the vibe… anyone who knows me personally can see it. I took a big risk betting on my actual voice instead of playing the generic designer game. I made the kind of work I wanted to make, for the kind of people I wanted to work with.

And it worked. But then I got scared.

All the intrusive thoughts crept back in (plus the ongoing rollercoaster of horrors persisting in the background) and I started second-guessing everything.

Why would bands, podcasters, indie brands want to work with me?

What’s so special about me?

Who am I to ask for that?

Something has to change. And that something is me.

I have a killer brand that I love. I have a strategy, tools, and a plan. I know what I want. I know what I need to do.

I just need to stop standing in my own way.

Last year was the Year of the Snake in the Chinese zodiac. If you’ve ever looked into it (or saw any of the Instagram reels), the snake year is supposed to suck. It’s the year you shed skin. You face hard truths. You lose what no longer serves you.

February 17th starts the Year of the Horse. And supposedly, the harder your snake year was… the more transformation you’ll experience.

I’m not super “woo-woo,” but honestly? After the absolute worst year of my life, I’m ready to believe in something.

New lunar new year, new me.

This blog is the first baby step of me doing all of the things that scare me this year. I’m done being a well of untapped potential. I’m done be quiet. I’m done playing it safe. 

It’s time for me to start embodying my own brand messaging and make some damn noise.

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